Write Your Achievements To Increase Self-Confidence
I received a few emails those days to ask me for advices on improving self-confidence (and I’m actually working on a project to do an ebook on this subject, join my newsletter to get a discount on your future order), so I’ll make you work this week and propose you an exercise named the « reverse bucket list ».
First of all, for those who don’t know the concept of a « bucket list », this represents the fact of writing down on a paper all the things that you wish to do before dying. This list will contain, in some ways, your « life goals » and it can be anything that you wish : travels, meeting people that you admire, trying new activities etc. Once your list is finished, nothing’s more satisfying than crossing off every goal achieved and remembering all those good moments. If you want a more imaged explanation of this concept, just watch « The Bucket List » starring Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman which is absolutely awesome !
Now that you all know what a « bucket list » is, I’ll explain you how to do a « reverse bucket list » and how you can use it to improve your self-confidence and self-esteem. The « reverse bucket list » consists of writing down on a paper, not the life goals that you wish to achieve, but the goals and achievements that you ALREADY succeeded.
So take 30 minutes to an hour to think about everything that you achieved so far and that you’re proud of. No need to have received a Nobel prize, just write everything that crosses your mind : for example « having solid friendships, having graduated, having worked in different jobs, having been in love » etc. until you have no more ideas. Take time to remember your achievements in order to experience the positive feelings that are linked to them and try to be as specific and detailed as possible in your descriptions.
How will you benefit from this exercise ? First of all, when we experiment a failure or are feeling « down », we have a tendency to feel useless and only remember our failures, forgetting all the trials that we overcame and the challenges that we took. Taking time to remember all you achievements and feel the positive emotions that come with them will allow you to focus your attention on your skills and success, while « incorporating » those experiences in your personal history by telling it to yourself.
Finally, doing your « reverse bucket list » will allow you to express and feel gratitude for yourself and those that surround you, which will provide you with huge benefits ! Indeed, a study showed that expressing gratitude improved mental and physical wellness and could have benefit effects on emotions and interpersonal relationships. Other searchers also found that it could have beneficial effects on positive emotions, increasing optimism and improving sleep quality, while a last study showed that expressing gratitude had a positive effect on self-esteem, depression and suicidal ideations.
What are you waiting to take a pen, a paper and start your own « reverse bucket list » ? I’ll show you the way by presenting an extract of my own list.
« In my life, I succeeded to… » :
- Win multiple championship titles with my basketball team (the last one being the state championship in 2016)
- Fall in love and being in a relationship with my girlfriend for more than a year
- Start my own online psychology business and keep it alive for 5 months
- Work in multiple places in different domains
- Finish my Master’s degree in Psychology
- Have the best friends ever
- Learn German, English and Spanish
- Travel on 5 continents
- Keep good contact with my family
- Find an apartment
- Survive to 4 months of unemployment and get out of it with two jobs that I like
- See concerts of artists that I love
- Travel alone and do volunteering
- Painting a wall with kids of a poor area of Valparaiso